Gym Woes

If you know anything about me, you know that I use disclaimers in my daily conversations. “Not that I am a relationship expert, but…” or “Writing critiques are welcomed because I am not the subject matter expert on die tooling or litho lamination…” You get the picture.

Well, this blog starts out not a lot different. Before you read the below, keep in mind that I have been to the gym once in the last week and that I am nowhere close to being in good shape. The words “I” and “good shape” shouldn’t even be within paragraphs of each other. Seriously.

Despite my lack of enthusiasm to exercise (or my lacking muscle tone and athletic breathing techniques), I still somehow manage to get angry with gym-related things. “How can this be when you so rarely set foot into the gym, Katy?” you may ask. Well, there’s no real explanation but here I go.

I think my biggest beef (and I realize this makes NO SENSE WHATSOEVER) is with this lady who works out on the elliptical machine for about an hour. She’s at the gym near my office each and every time I go in there—which granted, isn’t often. I can’t even bear to be on a machine near hers because she frustrates me so. In a spandex sports bra and spandex biking shorts and the all important workout gloves, she so seriously works out on that elliptical machine. Trust me, too; she should not be wearing spandex clothing—yikes. (Disclaimer 4: I also realize I should not wear any spandex clothes and am really not one to talk.) With a look of sheer intensity, you can tell that she thinks she’s giving herself an overall body workout. And does she go do any exercises that she actually needs her gloves for? Nope. They are just to make sure that when she grips the elliptical machine, she doesn’t blisters. I wish so bad to tell this lady that:

- You are only supposed to be on the elliptical machine for 20 minutes when people are waiting

- You’re still going to have a gut no matter how long you stay on that damn elliptical machine

- The workout gloves are incredibly unnecessary—and they are NOT cute

When I am closer to home than to the office after work, such as in the cases of having offsite meetings or seminars, the gym seems barely an option. The one by my house is so insanely crowded that you spend more time looking for a parking space and waiting in line for a cardio machine than you actually spend working out. I loathe that location except for on the weekends.

Thirdly, with all the recent staph infection outbreaks, I find it really disgusting and irresponsible that the gym occasionally runs out of paper towels and sanitizer spray and could care less about restocking. And this is coming from someone who does not really sympathize with germaphobes. Can you guess what happened when I mentioned to the manager that it’s gross and unsanitary to not have the necessary tools to wipe down equipment? He said that he was not going to go out and spend his own money to buy paper towels when LA Fitness won’t pay him back. And that I would just have to “deal with” the scenario until the maintenance truck came on Monday morning with a new supply of paper towels. Gross.

So that is my rant for today. Can anyone tell that I need to get more excited about the gym and am really being creative with my excuses NOT to go? Maybe being a few months away from wearing a wedding dress will really get my a$s into gear.