Monday, March 17, 2008

Wedding Blues - Sort Of...

I truly feel like the first page of any wedding planning book should say (in big/bold/engraved letters) the following statement or disclaimer: "Know right away that choosing your guest list and having friends be understanding of your limitations will be the most difficult parts of the planning process. Now that you've been forewarned, go forth and plan!"

When Dan and I became engaged in August 2007, we had a few married friends tell us to be prepared for awkward moments. None came sooner than with one of my coworkers. This girl, though very nice, seemed to feel some kind of entitlement toward our wedding and being on the guest list. She and I have hung out together outside of work once--and again, while she is very nice, we aren't that good of friends. The first Monday back to work after the big popping of the question, this female coworker asked if she could come down and see my ring. I obliged of course, only to find myself in deep regret for sharing the news at work. She didn't only inspect my ring; she went on to look me square in the face and say, "Katy, I know that you have lots of people you need to invite to your wedding, but I would really love to come. Can you invite me? It would really mean a lot to me if I were invited."

I guess I didn't really prepare myself for a moment such as this. Do people really want to attend weddings this badly? I was awestruck and tried to respond as quickly as possible. I believe I murmured something like, "Well, I will see... but we have lots of family and probably won't be able to invite as many friends as we would like..."

Okay, maybe that particular situation is a bad example of the point I am trying to convey, especially because not many people are exactly walking up and point-blank asking if they're invited. And because many of the people I wish I could invite are indeed close friends and people who mean a lot to me.

I feel that I have been blessed to meet many people (friends, coworkers, family friends, classmates, etc.) over the years. I am trying to find a way to say this as poignantly as possible without being off mark (I wouldn't want it to appear that I think I'm popular)... hmmm. I am still struggling with my words today.

Between Dan and myself, we have more than 100 family members. Add in the bridal party and their dates and you have about 120 people. Trust me, there are so many people, too many to count, that I wish I could include. Sometimes, I wish I could spill my guts to friends and say, "Instead of there being a white elephant in the room, I just wanted to let you know that you are a good friend of mine - or insert relationship here - but there's only so much room any wedding can have." It's a tough position to be in sometimes. If I could invite everyone that has ever meant a lot to me, trust me, I would.

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