When my friend Paul invited me to use the Google Voice (formerly Grand Central) app a few weeks ago, I had no idea what I was in for.
What I thought: Google Voice seems like a great way to handle voicemails. When you can't listen to your voicemails, Google Voice delivers them to your e-mail and to your phone in written form. Wow, this will make life a lot easier! Not to mention I don't always want to physically listen to my voicemails -- now I can just read them! (If you need to listen, you can click to play the message.)
Reality: Google Voice only accurately translates about 40 percent of what people say. Convenient? Ummm... maybe a little bit. Funny? YES! The computer generated messages are effing hilarious!
A few examples:
(From my brother Ben)
What Google Voice captured: "Hey give me a man. Gimme a call later."
What he really said: "Hey Katy B. It's Ben. Give me a call later."
(From my sister Anna)
What Google Voice captured: "Hey Hannah, I, and things dying at some point. Mister cost. You do want to go on Saturday evening. I don't know it's not to be dinner something. So gimme a call man. Love you bye."
What she really said: "Hey..umm it's Anna. I'll be driving from Columbus to Dahlonega on Saturday evening and I didn't know if you wanted to get dinner or something. So give me a call and... I love you, bye."
What Google Voice captured: "Hey Baby, It's me a call. I'm just leaving a message and sorry I missed your call earlier. I'm heading home. I'll be home, so give me a call if you don't get me through everything lines give you a call back. I should be up for a while. Talk to you later. Bye."
What she really said: "Hey Katy, it's Mirabelle. I'm just leaving the gym. I'm sorry I missed your call earlier. I'm heading home and I"ll be home so just give me a call. If you don't get me for whatever reason, just give me a call back. I should be up for a while. Talk to you later. Bye" (hey baby back atcha!)
(And my all-time favorite, from my brother Paul)
What Google Voice captured: "Can a quit being. Lana Peterson 5 o'clock on Friday. I'll be back."
What he really said: "Hey Katy. Quit being lame and answer your phone. It's five o'clock on Friday. Love you. Bye."